she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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