Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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