when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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