left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
