I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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