I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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