Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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