I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my mouth tastes like poor choices
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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