i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
