flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
