mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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