you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just had sex on a roof
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
