Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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