I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
