I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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