i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
