idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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