I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
is wine microwaveable?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
