my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She needs sedatives and a leash
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
