He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
