I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
