oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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