What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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