you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
