I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
