Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
