Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This girl is more easily done than said...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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