so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
