I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
