Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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