One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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