Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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