Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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