does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
