Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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