im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
