I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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