And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
