I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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