But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
