Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
