Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
