There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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