he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
