I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
