I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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