No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
