Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
