I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
