I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
